i have a lot to tell you and i don't how to start. i want to make you understand where i'm coming from. if i say the things i meant to, can you still be the guy who never judged me?
looking into your eyes gives me glimpse of paradise. i tried to look away but your eyes casts its spell on me. i can never get tired of staring at you.
i remember the days when i tuck myself in your arms and we remain comfortably silent for hours. even the times when we sit under the night sky and talk about everything. i have never been happier.
with all those memories replaying in my head and tears fogging my sight, how can i break the heart of the guy i love most?

to my prince

Standing here waiting for you seems forever. I gathered myself up and waited for you calmly. I saw you from afar. Suddenly this is my most fragile moment.
As you walk towards me, I rehearsed the words again. Then you gave me that familiar smile and as always i forgot to breathe. I just stood there and stared at you. I'm weakened by your presence. your magic is too powerful.

Being with you has always been my addiction.

I have waited for so long to hold you in my arms forever yet you were never ready. Looking at you now, you have become the guy I always wanted you to be. I want to stay longer but i couldn't. You will always make me feel weak but you see the years changed me too. I'm sorry. This past weeks has been great, I won't trade it for anything. But i need to go, he's waiting. He is my everything. Yes, you may have been the prince charming I want when I was a kid but fairytales are not real. And today you will be my greatest what if.

Tatlong buwan

Tatlong buwan.
Tatlong buwan ang lumipas at nalimot ko ang boses na laging nagpapakalma sa akin. ang boses na lagi kong hinahanaphanap. ang boses na paulit ulit kong pinapakinggan sa isip ko.
Tatlong buwan ang lumipas at nalimot ko ang boses mo.
Ang mga ngiti mo kaya, kailan?

PIPINO

{written april 7, 2010}

pipino-nilalagay sa magang mata

magang mata-epekto ng magdamag na pag-iyak

magdamag na pag-iyak-dahil sa kakaisip sayo

sabi ko kagabi, huli na ito
iiyak ko na ang lahat ng naitatagong luha at pag-aalala
alam kong hindi na kita makikita pa
gusto ko pero sigurado na ako
hindi na dapat kitang makita pa
maraming pang mga salita ang dapat bigkasin
ngunit marami na akong iniluha
marami na akong hindi pagtulog
sapat na iyon para sabihing tama na
pagod na ako, ayoko na
pinipili kong maging masaya
iba ang saya kapag kasama ka
ngunit ang kapalit naman ng mga saglit na iyon ay habang buhay ng pag-aalala kaya

titigilan na kita.

pupunasan ko na ang huling luha ko
luha dahil sa mga bilang natin na saglit
sa mga pagtakas natin at pagtago
sa mga magdamag na pag-uusap
sa mga mainit mong yakap
sa mga itinuro mo
sa mga hindi natatanggap na sulat
sa mga pinakamamahal na masang-api
sa mga kasamang iiwan

at para sa pamilyang muling babalikan

hindi na kita pwdeng mahalin pa. dahil sa bawat bagong araw na minamahal kita ay bagong araw ng pag-aantay sa hindi dumarating na mga sulat at bagong araw ng pag-aalala na baka tuluyan ka ng hindi makita.

hindi na kita pwdeng mahalin pa dahil wala ng ihihigit ang pagmamahal ko para sayo.